How I Learnt To Sleep Alone

I was surrounded by inky darkness. Not a speck of light anywhere. No sound and no living being in sight. It didn’t even appear like I was standing on solid ground. Suddenly everything felt heavy and I started tumbling down into infinity at breakneck speed. Yes, I was going to die! And then I woke up with a start, all comfy on my soft fluffy bed. Ever had dreams like these?

Well, I would regularly have such dreams till I got over my fear of sleeping alone. This is the story of the various phases I went through before I learnt to overcome my fear of sleeping alone. How I changed from being scared of the dark to absolutely loving the idea of my own room and my own bed.

When I was about 6 years old, my parents got me a fold-able bed which they would place at the foot of their bed. I was so excited about the whole idea of opening and folding the bed that I just couldn’t wait for night to come. Every night my mom would read me bed time stories and put me to sleep on this bed. Later in the night, I found myself all alone and jump on to my parents’ bed and cuddle up between them. When they realized this wasn’t working, they came up with a plan, bribery! They said that if I slept on my bed all through the night for a whole week, I would get a brand, new story book.

The trick worked. Some nights, I would still jump out of my bed, but then remember about that book, and go back again. So gradually, I got comfortable with this situation.

After around a year or so, my parents sold me the idea of my own little bed in my very own room. I was overjoyed. My mom even got me a nice, pink, Disney princess bedsheet. I even discovered an old rag doll (that I had named Pinky just because she was wearing a pink frock), whom I could snuggle up to at night! Wow, I was all set. But then things didn’t turn out the way I had imagined they would.

Ever remember waking up in the middle of the night, scared of every shadow you see and jump at every creak you hear? Well, after shifting into my room, this was my everyday midnight ritual.

I tried many things to ease my misery. One thing that particularly comforted me was sleeping with my back to the wall. Another trick was to cover my head with the rug. And then there was Pinky, off course.

Pinky with a newly stitched dress!

To add to all of this, the horror stories that I heard from my friends weren’t exactly helping. Once I heard about a ghost called Bloody Mary who appeared next to a mirror exactly at the stroke of midnight. And guess what was there right in front of my bed? Yes, a mirror.

Every time I woke up, I would take a peek to check if Bloody Mary was in the room. Thankfully I haven’t had the good, or rather bad fortune of seeing her! And then, to get back to sleep, I would put my blanket over my head, and that always seemed to help. But this was until I watched the movie, the sixth sense!

The Movie- The Sixth Sense

The boy in the movie was also scared of the dark. And once in a while he would see gory, oozy ghosts under his blanket! This absolutely freaked me out. I did not want to see ghosts every time I put my head under the blanket. So, from then on, my head was above the blanket. Always!

Then, I saw parts of this movie called Annabelle. Now Annabelle was a rag doll, who went around terrorizing people and haunting houses. But when there people around, she looked just as quiet and comforting as my dear little Pinky. After that, it was not so comforting to have Pinky around anymore.

Despite these movies and scary stories, I have managed to get over my fear. After all what is fear – but false evidence appearing true. FEAR.

Acronym of Fear

I have realized that all of these fears are just part of one’s imagination and definitely not real. And it isn’t like I have stopped thinking about Bloody Mary or Annabelle and stopped listening to the horror stories. And sometimes I even get freaked out.

But then, think about it, don’t we all know that a rag doll can’t come to life or a ghost can’t just appear next to a mirror at the stroke of midnight. I mean do ghosts even have watches?! Our minds are just trained to believe whatever we see in these movies or hear in these stories. Like someone said, being brave is not the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.

Over a period of time I have learned to just take a deep breath and assure myself that all of this fear is just my imagination. Like they say, it’s all in our heads. And that realization is what finally helped me overcome my fear of the dark!